Joey, Monica, Ross and Chandler..O MY!

Hey all! I hope you made it through midterms and that you enjoyed a safe and fun Halloween weekend. This month we'll be talking about meaningful interpersonal relationships with our F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Let's determine which FRIENDS character you most closely resemble by taking this short quiz posted below. If you've seen the show a few times, or if like me...you're a bit of a junkie, you may already know which character you identify with.

FRIENDS Quiz

Each of the characters represent some qualities that are important in a lasting and meaningful interpersonal relationship. If you want to know more about some qualities found in meaningful relationships read on to see what the Texas State University Counseling Center offers as some helpful tips.

'We genuinely need people we can trust to tell us the truth, even when it is difficult to hear. Shallow acquaintances are easy to come by, but they usually fade fast, leaving us with little or no lasting worth. On the other hand, healthy, caring relationships with family, friends, colleagues and significant others can give our lives immeasurable joy and meaning. Like most things of value in life, these relationships must be sought and maintained deliberately. Meaningful relationships take hard work and conscious effort.

Qualities of Meaningful Relationships

There are many qualities that mark sound, durable relationships. Among them are:

• honesty (Rachel is consistently open with her feelings and emotions)
• strong two-way communication (Monica and Chandler really work to ensure that their relationship has this quality)
• caring reciprocity (a give and take)
• empathy (This quality is often associated with Phoebe)
• commitment (This quality can be found in Ross, a devoted father to his two children)
• ability to laugh at selves and the world (The quality can often be found in Joey)
• respectful confrontation of trouble spots
• patience
• thoughtfulness
• mutual respect
• willingness to compromise

Sounds good but how does one attract and maintain such friendships or loving relationships?

Step 1 - Develop Your Self-Esteem

The best place to start in trying to attract healthy people to you is to be as healthy as you can be yourself. This means becoming comfortable with who you are, what you are about and where you are headed. Think, read and write about what you value, what is worth pursuing in life. It is a slow and evolving process to become a genuine, authentic individual, but it is highly desirable. Besides that, to be an independent, strong individual is attractive to others. We generally like and respect people who:

• Calmly articulate and stand by well-thought-out opinions and decisions
• Express self acceptance in a healthy, not cocky (not Joey), way
• Take responsibility for their actions, decisions and own happiness
• Have a sense of where they are headed and why
• Know they are not perfect and target faulty thought patterns or behaviors for change

Step 2 - Learn to Communicate Well

Learn how to initiate conversations and then how to keep them going. Good conversationalists have opinions and thoughts to share; they read, keep up with world events and like to learn about many things. Equally as important is a person’s ability to be a good listener. Listening shows a genuine interest in and respect for the other person.

Body language, or non-verbal communication, is an important ingredient in communication. Crossed arms, a stern tone, poor eye contact and poor posture send the wrong messages. Be aware of how you communicate non-verbally and what messages you are sending with your gestures.

Step 3 - Choose Carefully Places to Go and Activities to Do

You have to go where you are likely to meet people with similar interests and values. Bars and alcoholic parties are not your best bet; try clubs, academic classes, hobby classes, fitness activities, places of religious worship, lectures, cultural events or self-growth groups. Don’t always wait for others to initiate things. Call people, drop them cards or e-mail, stay connected with them. Or sit in our very own "Central Perk" on campus at Einstein's or Starbucks and catch up with an old friend. 

Step 4 - Have a Positive Attitude Towards Others

Cultivate an open and non-judgmental attitude towards others. You can learn something from everyone you meet; be tolerant and respectful of others and their differences. Don’t block someone out simply because they don’t share your views; you may be giving up an opportunity to learn something valuable. How do you think civility plays a role in meaningful interpersonal relationships?

Step 5 - Avoid Common Interpersonal Pitfalls

Be aware of the pitfalls to meaningful interaction; if you recognize one in yourself, do something to change it. The following qualities are almost certain to damage relationships:

• Having unrealistic expectations of yourself, the other person or the relationship in general
• Coming too close too soon, physically or psychologically
• Being negative about self, the relationship or life
• Being a rescuer, a martyr, a savior or a "perfect" person
• Trying to change the other person to suit your needs
• Being too self-centered, judgmental, or always "right"
• Stockpiling strong feelings - anger, pain, sadness, neediness - and then pouring them all out at once
• Expecting the other person to be a mind reader, a fixer or always a rock of stability for you
• Crowding and smothering the other person, expecting him/her to meet all your needs and spend all his/her time with you

And finally, be yourself! Knowing who you are and what you believe in is important but being able to express that person is knowledge in action and will be rewarded in reciprocal, meaningful relationships.

Source: http://www.counseling.txstate.edu/resources/shoverview/bro/meaningfulrel.html


Take some time today or this week and call up an old friend from home, maybe make that call to you parent(s) or sibling(s) and just ask about their day. Make the initiative to demonstrate that you really care about who they are and what they have meant in your life. 

FREE BREAKFAST

Coffee, Soda and Energy Shots, O MY!

For the month of October we'll be focusing our attention on healthy behaviors. With midterms approaching and lots of assignments, papers and tests just around the corner you may be tempted to reach for that cup o' joe. I'm in the same boat, sometimes it just takes a cup of coffee to jump start my day, other days its 2-3 cups to keep me going. 

The key to all things is moderation and this article from the Mayo Clinic has some interest information about caffeine and how you can curb your caffeine monster within. 

Caffeine: How much is too much?

When to consider cutting back

If you rely on caffeine to wake you up and keep you going, you aren't alone. Caffeine stimulates the central nervous system, alleviating fatigue, increasing wakefulness, and improving concentration and focus.

For most healthy adults, moderate doses of caffeine — 200 to 300 milligrams (mg), or about two to four cups of brewed coffee a day — aren't harmful. But some circumstances may warrant limiting or even ending your caffeine routine. Read on to see if any of these apply to you.

You drink 4 or more cups a day

Although moderate caffeine intake isn't likely to cause harm, too much can lead to some unpleasant effects. Heavy daily caffeine use — more than 500 to 600 mg a day — may cause:

• Insomnia
• Nervousness
• Restlessness
• Irritability
• Stomach upset
• Fast heartbeat
• Muscle tremors

Even a little makes you jittery

Some people are more sensitive to caffeine than are others. If you're susceptible to the effects of caffeine, just small amounts — even one cup of coffee or tea — may prompt unwanted effects, such as restlessness and sleep problems.

How you react to caffeine may be determined in part by how much caffeine you're used to drinking. People who don't regularly drink caffeine tend to be more sensitive to its negative effects. Other factors may include body mass, age, medication use and health conditions such as anxiety disorders. Research also suggests that men are more susceptible to the effects of caffeine than are women.

You're not getting enough sleep

Most adults need seven to eight hours of sleep each night. But caffeine can interfere with this much-needed sleep. Chronically losing sleep — whether it's from work, travel, stress or too much caffeine — results in sleep deprivation. Sleep loss is cumulative, and even small nightly decreases can add up and disturb your daytime alertness and performance.

Using caffeine to mask sleep deprivation can create an unwelcome cycle. For example, you drink caffeinated beverages because you have trouble staying awake during the day. But the caffeine keeps you from falling asleep at night, shortening the length of time you sleep.

You're taking certain medications and supplements

Certain medications and herbal supplements may interact with caffeine. Here are some examples.

• Some antibiotics. Ciprofloxacin (Cipro) and norfloxacin (Noroxin) — types of antibacterial medications — can interfere with the breakdown of caffeine. This may increase the length of time caffeine remains in your body and amplify its unwanted effects.
• Theophylline (Theo-24, Elixophyllin, others). This medication — which opens up bronchial airways by relaxing the surrounding muscles (a bronchodilator) — tends to have some caffeine-like effects. Taking it along with caffeinated foods and beverages may increase the concentration of theophylline in your blood. This can cause adverse effects, such as nausea, vomiting and heart palpitations.
• Echinacea. This herbal supplement, which is sometimes used to prevent colds or other infections, may increase the concentration of caffeine in your blood and may increase caffeine's unpleasant effects.

Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about whether caffeine might affect your medications. He or she can say whether you need to reduce or eliminate caffeine from your diet.

Curbing your caffeine habit

Whether it's for one of the reasons above — or because you want to trim your spending on pricey coffee drinks — cutting back on caffeine can be challenging. An abrupt decrease in caffeine may cause caffeine withdrawal symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, irritability and nervousness. Fortunately, these symptoms are usually mild and resolve after a few days.

To change your caffeine habit more gradually, try these tips:

• Keep tabs. Start paying attention to how much caffeine you're getting from foods and beverages. It may be more than you think. Read labels carefully. Even then, your estimate may be a little low because not all foods or drinks list caffeine. Chocolate, which has a small amount, doesn't.
• Cut back. But do it gradually. For example, drink one fewer can of soda or drink a smaller cup of coffee each day. Or avoid drinking caffeinated beverages late in the day. This will help your body get used to the lower levels of caffeine and lessen potential withdrawal effects.
• Go decaf. Most decaffeinated beverages look and taste the same as their caffeinated counterparts.
• Shorten the brew time or go herbal. When making tea, brew it for less time. This cuts down on its caffeine content. Or choose herbal teas that don't have caffeine.
• Check the bottle. Some over-the-counter pain relievers contain caffeine — as much as 130 mg of caffeine in one dose. Look for caffeine-free pain relievers instead.

The bottom line

If you're like most adults, caffeine is a part of your daily routine. And most often it doesn't pose a health problem. But be mindful of those situations in which you need to curtail your caffeine habit.

Source: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/caffeine/NU00600/NSECTIONGROUP=2